I have come across many people, while gossiping stating that this person or that person is a narcissist, but do we know what it actually means!
What is the definition of Narcissist?
It is the act of purposely denying, rejecting, minimizing, negatively judging and/or ignoring your expressed experience, thoughts, actions or emotions!
In my life, so far, I have had two such partners, who displayed this exact character, so based on my personal experience, here are four things that a narcissist may say to you in order to invalidate your feelings, thoughts and experiences.
Traits of a Narcissist:
1. Don’t remember the serious conversation: If we had about something he didn’t like, the next day they wake up and don’t acknowledge it and pretend it never happened. By claiming ignorance he was able to keep away from taking any responsibility for his harmful words and actions.
2. Don’t be so lame, don’t react for everything, you’ll be fine: Sometimes they just don’t care about what you want to achieve and are attached to. If they comment on something which you are attached to even if its the worst comment ever, they just don’t care!
3. You are making a very big deal out of nothing: If you are emotionally inconvenient about something, it frustrates them to no end! Then there is the sentence “You made the decision, it’s over and done with, why are you still upset?” These words are clearly stating that my emotions are not valid and I have no right to feel bad or sad over it.
4. The Silent Treatment: The silent treatment is widely regarded as a form of emotional manipulation and even psychological abuse. It is the act of ceasing to initiate or respond to communication with someone else or refusing to acknowledge them all together. This just conveys that I am worth the effort of speaking to working through whatever caused the disagreement in the first place.
What should you do if you are in this situation?
Well, usually they don’t even realize that what they are doing is actually causing harm. So confronting them is an option, but that could also be completely invalidated.
The best advice anyone would give is get out of the relationship and find someone else, but in my opinion, is accept him/her the way they are(a difficult thing to do) but they will never change and at the end of the day they are humans with experiences in their life which has made them the way they are! Not a bad person 🙂