What is expectation?
An expectation is a belief about what will happen in the future. A behavior where we want things to happen a certain way!
What is a disappointment?
When things don’t go as you expected and you start having the feelings of anger, frustration and sadness!
We have expectations about our experiences, and expectations of others and ourselves. Most people experience an expectation as a demand. If a child has the expectations, most adults can handle the implied demands. But, when it is an adult, it can be much harder for others, for a number of reasons. One of which is that we feel the expectation that the other person has of us is unreasonable or unwarranted.
So, one simple way of dealing with the disappointment that our failed expectations deliver is to follow the maxim, as best we can, “deal with the world as it is, not as how we want it to be”.
Let me illustrate an example of how we can change how we can change that human nature. Imagine you are holding a precious fragile object in your hand (that represents part of you: your expectations). If you let go of it, it will smash to the ground, breaking irretrievably into smithereens. But, imagine you are holding it palm upwards. You open your hand, and the object stays where it is. The expectation, if you like, is still there but you are no longer attached to it.
It is the attachment to the expectation—or the need—that is the problem, not the expectation itself.
Replace the expectation with….
1 Curiosity. Just be curious what will happen if you let go of an expectation that someone will be in a certain way and see how they respond or accept that circumstances turn out the way they were always going to.
2 Intention. It’s fine to intend that some event will turn out the way you want it to.
Simply, drop those expectations and you will never get disappointed!